Monday, 5 October 2020

These Spirits Are Thought To Live Far Out At Sea And Are Usually Malevolent

Monster generation inspired by the procedures illustrated in HANTU by the incomparable Zedeck Siew. Buy it now through

This post was also been inspired by the ongoing quest to make all the monsters you'll ever need:

By Jef Cox, from PARIAH

Taking Zedeck's procedure as a prompt, I've made my own series for weird spirits that might inhabit the world of PARIAH...

CONTEN WARNING: body horror, genital references, scatology...

[Range] The wise-ones warn that this spirit is found (d12):

  1. the top of a mountain.
  2. the boughs of a dead tree.
  3. ...lurking beneath the sands on the beach.
  4. a point where two footpaths cross.
  5. ...sleeping in the tide pools upon the rocky shore.
  6. ...inside a clay jar belonging to a wicked sorcerer.
  7. ...the guts of a beached whale.
  8. the bottom of a great lake.
  9. the heart of a volcano.
  10. the burial grounds of forgotten ancestors.
  11. a cave where flowers grow.
  12. ...inside a polished piece of star-metal.

[Animal sign] They say that this creature prefigures its manifestation: 

  1. A pair of magpies that move in sync with one another.
  2. Fish, gasping on dry land, far from any body of water.
  3. Gecko which drops from an overhanging branch and begins to immediately decompose upon hitting the ground.
  4. Bat without a face.
  5. Small ginger cat that walks on its toes in wide circles.
  6. Fox with no eyes.
  7. Dragonfly that hovers around the pariah's groin until shooed away.
  8. Howling monkey that is never see.
  9. Albino catfish. Within its belly, a piglet.
  10. Flock of green birds swirling in a great vortex. After a few moments, they all drop to the ground, dead.
  11. Arboreal octopus.
  12. Eight-legged calf.

[Smell] ...and that the air is redolent with the scent of: 

  1. wet leaves on a dry day
  2. burning meat
  3. lingering death
  4. decaying flowers
  5. lion shit
  6. rotting fish
  7. sour milk
  8. dried squid
  9. weasel musk
  10. sulphur
  11. dog piss
  12. frankincense  

[Shape] Its horrible appearance resembles: 

  1. small child
  2. hairless man with a smooth, featureless face
  3. enormous boar
  4. adult human
  5. fierce tiger
  6. old woman
  7. giant chicken
  8. hairless chimpanzee
  9. horse with human hands for feet
  10. seven cats with their tails tied together, mewling incessantly 
  11. dull-coloured moth as big as a dog
  12. huge grub

[Means of locomotion] It approaches you by: 

  1. slithering on its belly
  2. swaying back and forth on its rounded bottom like a skittle
  3. oozing like a viscous liquid across the ground
  4. awkwardly walking on a pair of distended legs
  5. reaching out in all directions with tentacles and dragging itself along
  6. making great leaps and landing with a crash
  7. scuttling like an insect
  8. rolling over and over itself while laughing with the voice of an old man
  9. jerking unnaturally as though only moving when one blinks one's eyes
  10. flapping with a tattered set of bird's wings
  11. burrowing into the earth like a worm
  12. sauntering casually forward

[Prop] It is known to carry: 

  1. beehive dripping with honey
  2. dead bird
  3. broken stringed instrument
  4. the shrunken head of its former master
  5. cloak made of human skin
  6. necklace of eyeballs
  7. sack holding the entrails of disobedient children
  8. enormous clay jar filled with vinegar
  9. blind kid-goat
  10. little boy playing the flute mournfully
  11. string of human skulls
  12. circular mirror hung about its neck

[Attributes] Three characteristics define its unnatural bearing (roll thrice): 

  1. several grotesquely pendulous breasts dragging along the ground
  2. flapping phallus that speaks of eldritch horrors through its urethra
  3. head which is twisted in the wrong direction
  4. foot-long fingernails that curl back in themselves
  5. lashing tongue lined with thorns
  6. open sores all across its body emitting a malodourous stench
  7. ever present swarm of [1d6]1. ants 2. mosquitoes 3. crabs 4. rats 5. butterflies 6. cockroaches
  8. propensity to spawn [1d6] 1. undead babies 2. more of itself 3. things seen only in hell 4. ghosts which resemble family members 5. puddles of corrosive black liquid 6. a swarm (see above)
  9. mouth inside a mouth inside a mouth
  10. beak inside a mouth inside a beak
  11. rib cage which opens to reveal its REAL mouth
  12. additional bodypart(s) [roll 1d6] 1. eye(s) 2. arm(s) 3. leg(s) 4. hand(s) 5. ear(s) 6. mouth(s)

[Sustenance] It feeds upon:

  1. the hearts of unfaithful lovers
  2. shit
  3. the eyeballs of the ignorant
  4. anything which moves
  5. genitalia
  6. blood of the living
  7. flesh of the long-dead
  8. children
  9. cats
  10. a pariah's [1d6] 1. constitution 2.  strength 3. dexterity 4. intelligence 5. wisdom 6. charisma
  11. the body fat of gluttonous individuals
  12. a human being's darkest secret
If you don't like rolling dice, I've taken care of a generator that will do it all for you!

If you're struggling with stats remember: everything is a bear.

Don't forget: I also made this spirit generator, and that you can download PARIAH in its art-free form for no charge here:

1 comment:

  1. Oh! This is brilliant. I really like 'It is known to carry'.