THE CRYSTAL SEAS... Episode 6: Ex-Spectre the Unex-spectre-d

9th Sositi

Kuriakos marvelled at the sight of the sun breaking over the distant mountains to the east of the desert of tears. It was a beautiful sight, and for a few moments he forgot about the misery of his life, of the disgrace he had suffered, of his broken family life, of the recent undead horrors he had battled. Instead, he felt himself evaporate as he drank in the sublime sight of a golden dawn, It was but a moment's respite, for shortly after sun broke, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

It was Analicia.

"Okay Teddy, time to make breakfast."

Horace, Analicia, Kuriakos, Ursula: an unlikely alliance of very different people, all camped in the foothills of a southern desert, having arrived at an ancient tomb but one night before. For various reasons they had been selected to track down and retrieve the artifacts of the various lost civilizations that had once populated this desert land: most recently, this had brought them to the tomb of King Bardol, the "Iron King".  After a bruising encounter with some undead dwarfs, the party had retired to lick their wounds.

Now they were ready for more investigating. After Horace's morning prayers and Ursula's "revision" from her dusty grimoire, they were set. They ventured back into the uncannily chilly cave, and headed straight for the one door they had not yet opened. The heavy granite portal was inlaid with an ancient dwarven rune. the party waited expectantly. it was a while before Horace realised they were all waiting for him. Analicia broke the silence:

"Aren't you going to say it?"

Horace was confused.

"Say what?"

"The password the old man gave us!"

But Horace had no idea. There ensued much scratching of heads until, finally:

"Burdinazko erregea."

Following Kuriakos' utterance, the ancient rune suddenly lit up, before fading back again. The Jehemeni soldier could barely hide his pride, though modesty dictated he at least try. His sense of triumph swiftly evaporated once it became apparent that the door was still sealed shut...

"Wait a minute..."

Analicia had a closer look and, realising there was a small keyhole beneath the rune, set to work on the task of disabling the lock. After a few false starts, it finally clicked, and the door was ready o be opened.

Again there followed a pregnant pause before Kuriakos realised that this time everyone was waiting for him, not Horace this time, and with a mighty heave he opened the door...

The door slides inward on wailing hinges, the smell of decay momentarily overwhelming your senses. Recovering quickly from a fit of retching, you see a wall of darkness before you. The air is incredibly cold, your exhaled breath fogging your vision.

Horace's eyes were quick to adjust to the intense darkness, as were Analicia's, but those of their human friends remained obfuscated. The elf and the dwarf beheld a sixty-foot long, ten-foot wide, high-ceilinged tomb, the walls of which were interspersed at regular intervals with five foot wide niches, each of which appeared to house an unembellished sarcophagus. Kuriakos brought the dull-green light of a peculiar torch to bear on the situation, and soon he and Ursual had joined their demi-human companions in a spot of grave-robbing.

One by one the bodies of various ancient dwarf lords, their dessicated flesh still clinging to their bones was investigated, until the party reached the third coffin. Until then, each instance had been identical: a mummified dwarf, clutching curved scimitar and small round shield was unveiled, with no other grave-goods. The third was identical, but seconds after Kuriakos slid back the heavy granite lid...

"Atera, haragi gauza.."

The sound of ancient dwarven, issued from a cold, hideous voice raised Horace's hackles. He and Kuriakos faced the interminable darkness only to witness it somehow coalesce into a vaguely dwarven, spectral shape. As Analicia drew her bow to face down whatever it was that was threatening her friends, a chill ran down her spine, and she fled.

For Kuriakos, too, this was one step beyond the expected. Animated skeletons were one thing, but shadowy dwarf-ghosts were another: despite his training as a professional soldier, Kuriakos was unable to do anything but flee. Dropping his torch, he goped blindly in the gloom, as a spectral claw reached out and raked his back, somehow penetrating the metallic scale armour in which he was encased. A chill gripped his heart which was, in any case, beating twice as fast as usual.

Terrified yet somehow keeping her wits about her, Ursula uttered a barely audible word of power and motioned her hands in front of her. Three brilliant white bolts of magical force instantaneously materialised before her, which she at once sent hurtling at the shadowy figure. It appeared to writhe in genuine pain as the magic missiles slammed into it simultaneously. causing it to lash out at Horace, who nimbly (by his standards) evaded the blow.

Already outside the crypt in the main chamber, Analicia got a hold of herself. She was not a coward, and although this abomination was unlike any she had yet witnessed, she resolved to return to the fray and assist her friends. Yet whilst she was still considering this, the briefly cowardly Kuriakos was already rallying, drawing his crossbow from his back and unleashing a bolt at the barely visible figure that had just risen from the first sarcophagus. It seemed that the ghost was calling for reinforcements...

The wraith-like figure, vaguely dwarven in shape and size, loomed menacingly over Horace. The cleric reached beneath his armour and withdrew the holy symbol of his order, the diamond sigil within which he had entrusted his faith.

"Evil, be gone!"

Horace's voice was somehow emboldened by his own faith - not just in his god or in his order, or even his culture, but in the goodness and righteousness of life itself. Confronted by such convictions, the black shadow seemed to somehow wither, and turned from Horace in something akin to fear.

The yellow-robed mage, Ursula, hesitated as the mania of melee raged around her. She started at the sound of Kuriakos' crossbow bolt piercing the recently animated skeleton beside her, and instinctively thrust her dagger into where she thought it might once have had a heart. the skeleton,a s usual, merely grinned, and slashed its scimitar across Ursula's shoulder.

Finally finding her courage, Analicia nocked an arrow, drew back the bowstring, and unleashed a deadly missile upon the spectre. It appeared to make contact with the semi-corporeal creature, before falling harmlessly to the ground.  The spectre was still doing all it could to flee from Horace, who seemed satisfied that the threat was neutralised, and turned his attention to the animated skeleton. His warhammer failed to deliver the effectiveness he desired, however, and the skeleton maneuvred out of the way of his strike. With almost feline grace, the undead creature thrust its scimitar point first towards Ursula who, suprising herself with her swift footwork, skipped aside from the attack. Kuriakos was already at her side, swinging some scimitar's of his own, though once again the skeleton proved uncannily nimble.

With lightning-fast reflexes, Analicia had already notched and fired her second arrow. The spectre was vulnerable, and whatever immunities his unholy form might have possessed were no match for the elf-maiden's marksmanship. Striking ture, Analicia's arrow pierced where the ghost's head may have been, causing him fragment into one thousand black shards before disincorporating as swiftly as he had materialised.

Before Analicia had time to punch the air in triumph, Ursula and Horace had already failed to make contact with the slippery skeleton: the dwarf's hammer hit only air, and Ursula's firebolt did damage only to a stray cobweb. Kuriakos, however, was decisive: with two deadly slashes with his scimitar, the skeleton was absolutely obliterated, collapsing into a pile of ancient dust and bones.

As the party caught their breath, Ursula was already investigating the door at the far end of the crypt: a mixture of hieroglyphs and dwarven runes eluded the translation attempts of both her and Horace. She was anxious nonetheless to see what might yet lie beyond. Kuriakos and Horace provided the muscle, and the heavy granite door was slid to one side...

Within, an ornate sarcophagus rests in the center of a small chamber. Broken urns line the walls, silver and copper coins and other finery strewn among the shards of pottery 

The ornate sarcophagus featured the incredible carving of a dwarven king upon its lid, which all concerned immediately recognised as sharing the same outline as the spectre they had fought just moments before. This harrowing fact caused some consternation, but as most of the party equivocated, Analicia scrabbled through the dust and dirt in search of treasure.

"Check it out people! I have found..."

"Four moonstones!"

"This cool bloodstone!"

"But that's not all... I also found:

"These delightful ancient brass goblets!"

"AAAAND this stylish yet tasteful gold ring!"

...and that's not all!

"This masterwork toolkit!"

"But that's still not all! I also found about EIGHT HUNDRED COPPER PIECES, 450 SILVER and FIFTY GOLD PIECES!"

There were audible gasps all around...

"...and that's still not all! Oh... wait, nope, that's it..."

After a brief debate, the group decided that Horace would take the ring, Analicia the tool set and the goblets, and the bloodstone would go to Ursula. Analicia set up a "team building fund" consisting of fifty silver pieces and ten gold pieces, with the rest being divided equally.

(200 copper, 100 silver, ten gold and a moonstone each. They also each had a red garnet retrieved from the eye sockets of the giant skulls previously)

After the loot was divided accordingly, Ursula once again pleaded for the sarcophagus to be prised open. Somewhat reluctantly, the party obliged: Kuriakos feared another undead fiend, Horace felt concern as both a cleric and a dwarf for this violation of the grave, but ultimately that had a job to do.

Analicia wedged an iron peton beneath the lid of the granite coffin, whilst Kuriakos' brute strength shifted it aside. Within lay the mummified remains of the ancient King Bardol, his desiccated face permanently frozen in a hideous grimace. Though no-one said it aloud, there was an unspoken agreement that this mummy had once been the flesh of the ghastly spectre they had slain moments before. For a moment there was a pregnant silence as it was half expected the corpse would rise up and attack...

...it did not such thing. Bardol was long dead, and it appeared that his ghost had also been put to rest. Ursula scoured the corpse, but the 'Iron King' had been buried without any goods bar his mighty warhammer. Ursula almost spat in disgust:

"Is that it?"

To the young scholar, the warhammer held no significance, but she at least seemed satisfied with the crayon-papyrus rubbings she'd taken of the various runes, carvings and hieroglyphs you'd taken. She suggested heading outside.

The party exited, except for Horace, who lingered a little longer. He recognised something in the ancient weapon that Ursula had not: this was a masterwork weapon, crafted by dwarfs, and fit for a king. He would take it for himself, and maybe one day would return it to his people... oncehis beard had grown back, of course.

Outside the dark of the tomb, the sun had risen across the low hills erupting from the desert. The four adventurers untethered their horses (and Chanel, the camel) and made their way downhill to the village of Okraha, where they would plan their next move.

To be continued...

THE CRYSTAL SEAS... Episode 5: The Tomb of Bardol

SPOILER ALERT: This episode contains segments from Tomb of the Iron King by Paul Ste. Marie, available for download at Dungeon Masters' Guild

As the hour drew late, the Prince decided to withdraw for the night, and the PCs were summarily ejected from the Palace. Donna Serafina remained behind, but informed them that there steeds had been taken to the Lighthouse, the inn at which they had stayed a few nights before.

Horace vaguely recalled that Sister Meerak - his new-found comrade in the Knights of the Diamond Sigil - had an identical twin sister, and that she was the proprietor of the afforementioned inn. Like Meerak, this woman had once been a mercenary alongside Burzum, and would be attending the funeral in the morning. The party had already made plans to embark on an expedition to the tomb of an ancient king, Bardol the Fell-Handed, the following morning. Nonetheless, Horace and co would precede this expedition with a short journey from the Lighthouse to the Shrine, leading any of Burzum's mourners along with them.

The dwarf did not see the sister before going to bed, but was pleased to find that he now had a room of his own, upstairs, as did Ursula and Analicia. As was typical for the elf, Analicia was keen to stay up all night, but her colleagues were - typical for non-elves - exhausted by the dramas of the preceding few days.

Analicia found that the Lighthouse was heaving with the incessant murmour of many tongues. the interior was dimly lit by small lanterns at each of the inn's low tables, and a sweet, fragrant smoke hung in the air. To a man most of the patrons sat on cushions on the Lighthouse's floor were human, and male at that. The light-skinned northerners, mostly merchants, she surmised, kept to themselves, whilst dark-skinned southerners formed their own cliques. In a quiet corner the party's retainer, Kuriakos aka "Teddy", lay hunched and miserable, attempting to sleep.  Analicia turned her attention to the bar, with a small sigh.

Just as her friend Horace had done before with Meerak, Analicia found herself in a mixture of awe and contemplation as she beheld Meerak's identical twin. The woman was over six feet in height, and possessed of a powerful, muscular frame. Her enormous head had a high brow, strong cheekbones and bright, Hazel eyes... yet her nose and mouth were something of mess, to an elf maid like Analicia, anyway.

"What can I get you?"

"One... beer.... uh... one butter beer, please!"

The proprietor raised an eyebrow, before calling out to one of her servant boys:

"Get the lady a butter beer!"

...prompting a confused look from the boy.

So Analicia came to know Madam Grraak: she was a tough, no-nonsense woman, born into slavery, once a mercenary but now a veteran soldier trying to live out her days in peace as proprietor of the inn. She explained how she and her twin had been close to Burzum, and all had been comrades-in-arms. She asked about the circumstances of Burzum's death, and offered sympathy, but seemed slightly incredulous at the tale of a giant fire-spider.

Presently, the boy returned with a mug of beer mixed with melted butter. It tasted revolting.

Analicia found out one or two rumours: firstly, there were a LOT of foreigners coming in search of lost magical treasures and relics of the fallen Thranian Empire. Secondly, Madam Grraak made specific mention of a sinister man, clothed like Ursula in yellow academic robes, to whom she had taken an instant dislike. The chatted idly a little more, before Analicia retired to her chamber to meditate.

6th Sositi
At dawn, Teddy had already gotten the horses ready to leave by the time the adventurers were risen. As they munched on a simple breakfast of bread and soup, mourners began to arrive. Like Burzum, Meerak, and Grraak, the former mercenaries were enormous and athletic, whether they were men or women. Mostly they shared Burzum's dark complexion, but some possessed the peculiar sallow-yellow/ochre-green of the twin sisters, alongside their unusual facial features and enlarged teeth...

https://www.deviantart.com/lordhannu/

"Huh..."

Horace felt sure these men... if they indeed were men and women... were the orcs of legend he had so much about. Hew swallowed hard, before presenting himself to a large group of such individuals.

"I'm a dwarf." He said.

The largest of the "orcs" laughed heartily, before asking where he had hidden his beard. He shook Horace's hand. Horace met about twenty or so of the "orcs", who each shook his hand, and offered their respect to a fellow warrior who had fought at Burzum's side.

The parade of mourners wove through the gridded streets of the artisans' district, through the fragrant food markets, and on to the dilapidated slums and palatial temples of the Holy District. Presently arriving at the shrine managed by Sister Meerak, the party saw the two "orc" twins together for the first time:

Wow! You guys could be sisters!

Each of the mourners genuflected before the prostrated corpse of Burzum the barbarian, before retreating to some simple tables outside on the street, to drink beer and share tales of the Burzum of old. The party paid their final respects to the man they had known for only a few days, headed out of the city and onward to the village of  Kuth.

"Long live Burzum!"

"You haven't been to many funerals, have you, Analicia?"

By dusk the party - consisting of Kuriakos (Teddy), Analicia, Horace, and Ursula, as well as their trusty steeds and their lone camel, Chanel - had arrived at the village of Kuth. As ever, the residents greeted them cheerily in their incomprehensible Kyran dialect, and showed the PCs back to their familiar barn. They feasted on spicy goat curries and flatbread, and slept on beds of straw.

7th Sositi
"You know, it would be appropriate for us to leave them some money, for their hospitality, I mean."

Teddy obviously had no idea that just a few nights ago, Ursula had paid for their short stay with an enormous ruby, leading to them being considered honoured guests for life. Unaware of local customs, Analicia acquiesced:

"Huh, I guess so... do you think three gold would be sufficient?"

"More than enough,I'm sure."

Definitely more than enough... don't worry, Analicia, I'm sure the gents will cover you next time...

And so the party began the trek southwards, towards the legendary Tomb of Bardol. Ursula estimated that they would arrive before dusk the following day, necessitating a short rest before they would begin a preliminary recce. She was not convinced the tomb would hold much for them: it was, after all, extraordinarily old and bound to have been looted and/or decayed beyond much more than curiosity value. The real prize, for Ursula, lay beyond, in the small mountain range overlooking the Ezran oasis: for there was the ancient Sunless Citadel.

Night fell. The party camped in the desert. Though the temperatures had dropped significantly, they were not otherwise disturbed.

8th Sositi

They part rose and immediately began to press on. Once again, they day passed without incident, but by nightfall they were still yet to arrive at the tomb. Ursula bid them to continue as they had already arrived at the foothills, and she was convinced the tomb was somewhere nearby. By torchlight she searched the brush, before happening upon a cleft in the exposed rock face of a hill. At the rear of the cleft two openings were found, emitting an eerie green glow...

Two narrow gaps at the back of the cleft open into a 15-foot wide corridor dimly lit by a flickering green light emanating from torches along each wall. The corridor extends 30 feet before opening into a larger chamber. Roughly 25 feet from the entrance, a second, smaller corridor branches off to the right. 

Stepping inside, Analicia narrowly avoided crushing the remains of a long-dead adventurer underfoot. Ursula began to poke him with her staff, uncovering a bone-white cylinder from within the remains of his rotten clothing. Taking a closer look, Horace revealed the cylinder to be some kind of scroll-holder, within which he found a map of the very tomb they were exploring:

Map adapted from Tomb of the Iron King by Paul Ste. Marie

Ignoring the peculiar green light spilling from the torches lining the walls, the party ventured to investigate the corridor sneaking away to the right, happening upon a granite slab where the map had indicated a door... Teddy was instructed to open it, but initially it would not budge... until he realised it was a sliding door, and the chamber beyond was revealed....

This 15-foot by 20-foot chamber is dominated by a large rectangular stone table in the center of the room. The tabletop is covered in large stains which seem darkest near a narrow groove etched along the tabletop’s edge. The table is tilted at a slight angle.  Broken pottery lay scattered about the room, much of it gathered into an oblong mound covered with scraps of cloth and straw. Near the debris, a flagstone has been pried from the floor and a crude firepit gouged from the earth below.  In an alcove set into the far wall, a door leads to another chamber.

Ursusla began to investigate the table, uncovering some intricate carvings - almost like hieroglyphics - etched into the stone. As she began to make rubbings with her papyrus and crayon, Analicia stumbled backwards into an enormous rat, which immediately retreated to the pile cloth and straw scraps, causing a terrifyingly skinny old man to emerge from his hiding place, clutching a human thigh bone as a club.

"You... need to go... don't stay here!"

The party attempted to press the bedraggled hermit for information, but he merely rambled about life and death and his own private search for truth. Analicia attempted to comfort him, but he told her he was fine as he was: mad, half-starved, staring death in the face.

"There is evil here, great evil..."

"Then why do you remain here?" said Horace.

"To stare it down, to feel it threaten my heart, to resist it, to come closer to oblivion."

Teddy whistled nonchalantly and began a cursory inspection of the door in the far alcove.

Ursula looked up from taking rubbings from the stone:

"What do you mean, evil?"

"The king, buried here - Bardol... an ancient one. As evil as he was in  life, so to he remains in life."

There was a pause, broken by Horace:

"What do you mean?"

"His ghost... still here... still here is his ghost..."

Teddy scoffed, but no-one else said a thing.

The door was slid open to a storage room, revealing:

This small chamber is littered with debris, the remains of two wooden shelves, their contents - various embalming oils and herbs - scattered among broken tools and the fragments of canopic jars.  

Analicia retrieved a vial containing some kind of tincture, which a quick sniff told her was probably a healing potion. Reaching inside one of the canopic jars that remained intact, she found the mummified heart of a long dead something or other... casting it aside, she addressed the group:

"Shall we investigate the rest of this place then?"

"Be warned: the door is sealed. It requires the password..."

"Which door?" 

"Burdinazko erregea"

"Bird neck oh ga ga ga?"

...but Horace knew the words, for they were in his tongue: Iron King. He looked at the table, which Ursula had deduced was an embalming table, for the treatment of corpses before they are laid to rest...or not, as the case may be... it was about large enough for a human man, but would be a tight squeeze... a dwarf, on the other hand, would fit the table nicely...

***

The entry corridor opens into a great hall 25 feet wide and extending back 55 feet. Three crumbling pillars support a high vaulted ceiling some 25 feet high.   Eight niches are evenly spaced along the walls: three filled with rubble and five that each hold a five-foot tall skeleton clad in rusting chain armor and holding a spear and shield. Rotting tapestries hang between the niches, whatever heraldry or scenes they once depicted faded away long ago.   The last 10 feet of floor rises in three broad steps to a dais stretching across the entire width of the hall. Two huge stone skulls stand atop pedestals in the rear corners of the dais. The eyes of the statues glow faintly with a reddish green light.

Horace went to a nearby niche to inspect one of the dwarven skeletons, Ursula to the sealed door the hermit had warned them about, and Analicia had climbed the steps to get a better look at the-

"Giant skulls with rubies for eyes!"

Ursula was not impressed by Analicia's find:

"Come on! Stop messing around! We're here to find historically significant artifacts, not loot the tomb!"

Analicia was already trying to prize one of the gemstones out with her bare hands. Teddy remained stationary, shaking his head in incredulity.

"I don't recognise the design of this armour at all," said Horace, "and it looks truly ancient!"

"That's very nice," said Ursula, "but can we get this door open now please!"

"Are you sure you don't want to have a look at these rubies, Ursula? They might be magical - see how they glow!"

Ursula spun around at mention of the word "magic" and almost sprinted over to her colleague.

"Really? They are glowing rather dramatically."

Analicia smirked a little as she removed the small hammer she'd found in the cellar of the Wizard's Tower brewery, and began to gently tap at the hilt of her dagger, the tip of which was wedged between the gemstone and the orbit of the huge skull sculpture's eye socket.

"Shouldn't take too much..."

With a single tap the ruby was released from its setting. This was followed by a clattering noise, startling Ursula greatly, but not enough to distract her from attempting to remove the other eye from the skull.

Analicia, on the other hand, was terrified. She beheld a sight that chilled her blood: one of the ancient skeleton had turned its head to stare straight at her, its right arm raised above its head, now bereft of the spear it had been holding. Unable to scream, she merely turned and fled. She tried to run as far away from it as possible, skipping down from the dais and across the room, but was immediately on the receiving end of a second spear, this time true to its mark, perhaps because it was thrust into her not thrown... the assailant was a second animated skeleton that had attacked her as she ran by it!

Still horribly afraid, Analicia stabbed wildly at the skeletal warrior with her dagger, missing completely.Horace had already run to her side, and with one fell swing of his mighty warhammer the skeleton was utterly obliterated, the rusted chain armour caving in along with most of its rib cage. Ursula is trying to remove the other gem. Oblivious to the chaos around her, Ursula was still trying to remove the second stone, when the first skeleton crept up behind her and smashed her over the head with each shield.

There were three further skeletons in the chamber, and one of them had already joined the fray, and again Analicia found herself wounded by an undead spear. The two remaining skeletons elected to attack Teddy: one in melee, the other launching its spear. Teddy was able to evade both attacks, and dispatched the minion that had been harassing Ursula with his scimitar. Three of the undead horrors remained

Trying to pull herself together, Analicia once again slashed and lunged at the third skeleton, but her shattered nerves rendered her attack utterly ineffective. The mage Ursula uttered some words of power, summoning three missiles of magical force and launching them at the foul undead beings. They swayed from the sheer power of the impact, but none were taken out of action. Horace's warhammer was not so true as it had been before, and his target was able to duck out the way of his low, before plunging its spear deep into Analicia's side. For the third time since arriving in the southern lands, Analicia dropped unconcious, fighting for her life.

The skeleton that had launched its spear at Teddy saw fit to deal with the dwarf that had previously annihilated its comrade: without any weapons, it threw itself at Horace and grappled with him, attempting to bite at his face. Analicia's last thought before she swooned into unconsiousness:

"I always said he'd look more handsome with a nose jo-"

The final skeleton charged at Teddy, and the two combatants exchanged blows with scimitar and spear respectively, though neither made any significant impact.

With Analicia clinging on for dear life, Ursula took steps to bring the encounter to the close. Yet again she conjured three magic missiles, yet again the skeletons reeled from the impact, weakened, but not yet slain. Horace escaped from the grapple, and Teddy's scimitars tore into the fifth skeleton, though again it remained on its feet. The three undead lashed out with spears and fists, but none of the three remaining were able to land a blow on Horace or Teddy.

Ursula drew her arcane focus from her pocket, and mumbled some equally arcane words of power. A molt of flame manifested at her fingertips, and with a determined flick of the wrist she hurled it towards the skeletons, though it sailed harmlessly overhead and fizzled out in a dim corner of the tomb. Horace uttered a prayer to his god, and with a gasp Analicia recovered from the brink of death, almost fully healed. Her would-be murderer focused its efforts on slaying her saviour, but Horace evaded its spear. He was less fortunate with the unarmed grappler, who once again threw its arms around him, gnashing with its ancient teeth.

"Hold on, Horace! I'll save you!"

Analicia drew her rapier from its scabbard and thrust it at the confusing mess of dwarf and skeleton currently locked in a wrestling match. She utterly missed the undead, but sadly pierced Horace's chest, puncturing his lung. Gagging up a plume of blood, the dwarf keeled over, apparently dead.

Teddy's scimitar decapitated his opponent, and sighting Horace collapsing in a bloody heap, attempted to cart wheel through the congested melee and finsish off the remaining opponent. Somehow he was caught on his own mail coat, and stumbled rather than tumbled through the fray, as finally Ursula was able to land one of her fire bolts. The skeleton was engulfed in flame, and fell to the ground in a flaming heap.

As Analicia tended to Horace, Teddy brought hos dual scimitars to bear on the remaining skeleton, eradicating it forever. Horace tasted the cool liquid of the healing potion soothing the hot blood in his throat, as he came back to his senses, still bloodied but not yet beaten.

Teddy surveyed the carnage: the remains of five dwarven skeletons, one of which was still alight, were scattered across the chamber, which was still suffused in a dim green glow from the peculiar torches on the wall.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"I know, right?" Ursula seemed almost excited. She began asking if she should take the remains back to the camel, for further investigation. No-one said anything. Teddy turned to Analicia:

"...and what were you doing to Horace?"

Analicia shrugged, meeting the incredulous stare of Teddy, but also the faint half-smile of Horace.

"I was only trying to help..."

"Well," said Teddy, "if you ever have the chance to help me... don't."

To be continued...

This episode featured an adaptation of Tomb of the Iron King by Paul Ste. Marie, available for download (pay what you want, suggested contribution $1) here

View the Crystal Seas Campaign Kill Chart!

PANTHEON EXERCISE

I recently completed a design-your-own pantheon challenge for the folks over at r/dndbehindthescreen. I'm not sure if I'm 100% happy with the outcome (I think I failed to make the pantheon sound original or even vaguely interesting!) but I was happy with the uh... metaphysics of it!

I'm making the pdf available here if you are interested, and it will be permanently available in the sidebar->

SOLO EXPERIMENT: INTO THE ABYSS

The following is a play through, of sorts - a solo adaptation of WotC fifth edition module Out of the Abyss. The purpose of this exercise is to attempt an ad hoc adaptation of exisitng content to a homebrew setting, whilst also investigating how much of this resources might be adaptable to my own campaign world. The module is available for sale at here.

Available to buy here 

There's no such thing as solo "play"... it's an exercise in writing, rather than a game, 

but that doesn't mean it can't be fun...

This shouldn't need saying but SPOILERS! RIGHT AHEAD!

****

Bao woke, his head buried in his manacled arms, upon the cold stone flor of the slave pen. How ling had it been? Perhaps four days, maybe more, maybe less. He was counting only the number of servings of broth he'd received, which he'd overheard one prisoner describe as "daily sustenance". He groaned in pain, his wounds from the bruising encounter that brought him were still sore. He wanted nothing more than to die.

<Looks like the pretty one is waking up> said a thick, female voice, speaking the language of the Gizaki.
<Pretty, huh. Maybe. Think the Mistress will take a shine to him>>
<Ha! Think he's skin is too colourful, wouldn't you say? look at that! it's like polished bronze, or gold even! You ever see such a thing?>
<Nope. Must be a southerner, Eldeth>

Bao winced. In spite of his discomfort, his self-pity, and his lingering injuries, he hated to be mistaken for anything other than what he was.

<I am NOT from the south, Gizaki; I am from the east.>

There was a long silence.

<Gods!> said the female named Eldeth <He speaks dwarven!>

There was a round of nervous laughter, first from Eldeth, before being joined by that of her partner, and then a few more chuckles joined the fray.

<He's been listening all along!>
<Hope he knows I didn't mean  any of that!>
<Hope he can take a joke!>

That nervous glee was short-lived, however, as a pale, angry elf rattled the bars of the slave pen's gate with his sabre:

"Quieten down in there, surface-dwelling scum!"

The prisoners obeyed immediately, falling into a hushed silence. As much as a minute had passed before anyone stirred, and again it was Eldeth. She had quietly sidled up to Bao, who had not yet lifted his face up from the dirt.

"You speak the dwarven tongue, boy, and you call us by our True Name. How is this so?"

Bao lifted his tired head and beheld the female for the first time. She did not look like the Gizaki he had met before: with her round, pale face and orange-coloured hair she looked more like a human westerner than. She even spoke their tongue, which they imperiously called "common", much to Bao's chagrin.

"Please," he said, "I speak the common tongue but inelegantly. I much prefer speaking with you as before."

<Very well, although it is odd for me to speak like this with a human. Tell me, do all of your people learn Hizkuntza, or were you taught to speak it by a dwarf?>

<Both, of course! said Bao, after some hesitation. he found the question confusing. It seemed Eldeth found his answer likewise. <That is to say, all my people - well, educated ones at least - learn Hizkuntza... it's the language of our liturgy. And of course, the best teachers are native speakers so->

<There are Gizaki - dwarfs - in your lands?>

<But of course? Why would->

Again, any further attempts at conversation were once again interrupted by the rattling sabre of the wan elven guard. 

"Right! You! You! And.... you! Come, you've got work to do!"

Automatically, Eldeth lifted herself up and headed towards the gate, alongside two even more diminutive creatures. The elf guard led them out, before locking the gate behind them.

Once more, Bao was alone with his thoughts, with his guilt. It was an odd comfort, this blanket of misery, but it was no more or less than he deserved. Had it not been for his own miserable shortcomings, he would not have found himself in such a pathetic situation... and were it not for his own failures, hos three companions might yet live. He rolled onto his back and released a pained groan.

"Don't worry, human. Plenty more pain where that came from."

Bao did not recognise the voice, but he did not care. It continued to taunt him, but its guttural, snarling interpretation of the western tongue could do him no worse injury than he had already caused himself. 

What had become of him? he wondered. What now for the eager apprentice, the disciple of battle, the warrior-poet, now that he was a prisoner, a slave? Better to have died: his critics would have been right about his "fighting style", but at least any doubts concerning his commitment would have been put to rest.

The taunting voice came at him again:

"So you only talk with dwarfs, is it? Don't like how I speak your tongue, ay human?"

This caught his attention. He brought his gaze to bear on the source of the voice, and beheld a hunched, muscular figure.

"Huh, that got your attention, did it boy?"

The creature's voice was a low growl. Bao tried to pick out more details in the dim light of the distant torches, but he new none. Bao was already weakened, and knew better than to pick a fight with an opponent about whom he knew nothing. He turned away.

"That's right, coward! Turn away! Run away just like-"

The words did nothing to Bao, but as he rolled over, he was shocked to hear a sudden, high-pitched squeal being emitted from a large, white mushroom:

"I'm... sorry?" he said, in spite of himself.

It's okay, people haven't been paying me much attention of late.

Bao did a double take. The voice had appeared, spontaneously, inside his own head, in response to his almost involuntary apology.

"I'm going mad..."

"Yeah you are!" said the snarling voice.

"Ten gold says he kills the mushroom before himself!" came another voice from the darkness, though Bao was not sure where. It was followed by laughter.

"I'll take that bet," said the voice who had been chatting in dwarven to Eldeth earlier. More laughter followed, and more voices. Bao merely covered his ears.

Don't be sad, they're just trying to make themselves feel better. Everyone's scared.... you're not mad, by the way.

The large mushroom seemed to be staring at him the entire time. He resisted a strong desire to answer the voice in his head with a direct, audible question to it.

I know, few surface-dwellers get to see my kind. We do live above sometimes, though. Hey, can I show you a secret? 

Bao had not removed his hands from his ears, but the voice ran clear and true in the space in between them. He watched in awe as the mushroom appeared to uproot itself, and walk away from him on two stalks. After a few steps, it seemed to turn around:

Well, are you coming or what?

TBC